Stay With Me Book Chat



Jos, December 2008

I must leave this city today and come to you. My bags are packed and the empty rooms remind me that I should have left a week ago. Musa, my driver, has slept at the security guard’s post every night since last Friday, waiting for me to wake him up at dawn so we can set out on time. But my bags still sit in the living room, gathering dust.

I have given most of what I acquired here – furniture, electronic devices, even house fttings – to the stylists who worked in my salon. So, every night for a week now, I’ve tossed about on this bed without a television to shorten my insomniac hours.

There’s a house waiting for me in Ife, right outside the university where you and I first met. I imagine it now, a house not unlike this one, its many rooms designed to nurture a big family: man, wife and many children. I was supposed to leave a day after my hairdryers were taken down. The plan was to spend a week setting up my new salon and furnishing the house. I wanted my new life in place before seeing you again.

It’s not that I’ve become attached to this place. I will not miss the few friends I made, the people who do not know the woman I was before I came here, the men who over the years have thought they were in love with me. Once I leave, I probably won’t even remember the one who asked me to be his wife. Nobody here knows I’m still married to you. I only tell them a slice of the story: I was barren and my husband took another wife. No one has ever probed further, so I’ve never told them about my children.

I have wanted to leave since the three corpers in the National Youth Service programme were killed. I decided to shut down my salon and the jewellery shop before I even knew what I would do next, before the invitation to your father’s funeral arrived like a map to show me the way. I have memorised the three young men’s names and I know what each one studied at the university. My Olamide would have been about their age; she too would just have been leaving university about now. When I read about them, I think of her.

Akin, I often wonder if you think about her too.

Although sleep stays away, every night I shut my eyes and pieces of the life I left behind come back to me. I see the batik pillowcases in our bedroom, our neighbours and your family which, for a misguided period, I thought was also mine. I see you. Tonight I see the bedside lamp you gave me a few weeks after we got married. I could not sleep in the dark and you had nightmares if we left the lights on. That lamp was your solution. You bought it without telling me you’d come up with a compromise, without asking me if I wanted a lamp. And as I stroked its bronze base and admired the tinted glass panels that formed its shade, you asked me what I would take out of the building if our house was burning. I didn’t think about it before saying, Our baby, even though we did not have children yet. Something, you said, not someone. But you seemed a little hurt that, when I thought it was someone, I did not consider rescuing you.

I drag myself out of bed and change out of my nightgown. I will not waste another minute. The questions you must answer, the ones I’ve choked on for over a decade, quicken my steps as I grab my handbag and go into the living room.

There are seventeen bags here, ready to be carried into my car. I stare at the bags, recalling the contents of each one. If this house was on fire, what would I take? I have to think about this because the first thing that occurs to me is nothing. I choose the overnight bag I’d planned to bring with me for the funeral and a leather pouch filled with gold jewellery. Musa can bring the rest of the bags to me another time.

This is it then – fifteen years here and, though my house is not on fire, all I’m taking is a bag of gold and a change of clothes. The things that matter are inside me, locked up below my breast as though in a grave, a place of permanence, my coffin-like treasure chest.

I step outside. The air is freezing and the black sky is turning purple in the horizon as the sun ascends. Musa is leaning against the car, cleaning his teeth with a stick. He spits into a cup as I approach and puts the chewing stick in his breast pocket. He opens the car door, we exchange greetings and I climb into the back seat.

Musa switches on the car radio and searches for stations. He settles for one that is starting the day’s broadcast with a recording of the national anthem. The gateman waves goodbye as we drive out of the compound. The road stretches before us, shrouded in a darkness transitioning into dawn as it leads me back to you.


…. and that’s how Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo begins. We discussed the book in detail with Lebo Mgiba on our youtube channel and you can watch the Book Chat on the video below.


Have you read the book? What did you think?

Hey CHICA’s been a while since we talked television!

So what fab shows are you enjoying currently on the telly?

On the local front, it’s 2018 and DStv Compact is still killing the game with hot shows like Uthando Nes’thembu, Uyang’thanda Na, Date My Family and of course the dramas are attracting lots and lots of viewers. Some of our faves include Nkululeko, The Queen, of course and we’ve also been checking out iKhaya. So much drama!

Besides providing awesome content, DStv Compact is also giving away a house worth R500 000.00 to one lucky subscriber. The competition is open to all compact subscribers and you can read the details HERE but most importantly, the closing date is 2 April 2018 so don’t miss out!

It’s interesting to see just how much conversation is generated by these shows, especially the Sunday shows on social media. It’s almost as if we are experience the peak of local content, created by black companies for the black community.

There’s just something powerful about watching content that resonates, that you identify with as a viewer and I’m not sure how Mzansi Magic does it but whatever it is, it works!




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Life, Wine & Conversationss

In October 2017, I came across an interview that Gabrielle Union was doing while signing copies of her book, We’re Going to Need More Wine. It was just two people, having a sit down, a good, funny conversation over a glass of wine and it was fun, I must have watched that clip about 3-4 times because I was reminded of how free, beautiful and funny Gabby Union is.

Life, Wine & Conversations

The conversation also planted an idea in my head.. to record interviews on video for CHICA. One of the things that I have always loved throughout my blogging career has been interviews but I never got to do as many as I would have liked because transcribing is such a tedious task and written interviews where you send someone a list of questions doesn’t quite have the same effect. So I partnered with Lyton (known as Audacioustoni by Just Curious readers) to have these bi-monthly conversations where we chat to People about Life, Love and everything in between. Over a glass of wine!

We’ve put out the first episode, and seeing that it’s the month of LOVE, in the first episode we talk about what 2017 taught us about love, as well as what we know for sure about LOVE.

You can watch the conversation below, but please also let us know your thoughts and give any feedback you think might help us.

Oh, and most importantly, don’t forget to subscribe to the channel HERE and Like, Share, and Comment with your feedback!



Chica’s! So I was sitting at home watching “Our Perfect Wedding” as I was typing this. I really had to write something immediately while watching the show. I will make this one short and sweet, because more than what I feel and think, I am more curious to read what you think about this topic.

Just to give those of you who do not watch “Our Perfect Wedding” some context, that week it was John and Bridget getting married. Firstly, their love story was all over the place for me a tad bit. Maybe I am just used to the “We met at a friend’s braai, liked each other and got on with it” type of story?!


The couple told the story of how John was Bridget’s comfort while she was going through a break-up and he later asked her out. Okay, cool story. What confused me was the issue on the lady who was pregnant while they were still together (a girl from the same church they are from) – Nothing new in society here, sadly. All on the same page still? Great! Here is the part that confused me:

The Maid of Honour who is Bridget’s bestie spoke of how Bridget actually “took John” from someone else. Then it also came out that John too was going through a break-up at the time of the start of their love affair. Bestie was so chuffed when she relayed the story on how Bridget apparently “won” John from the other lady. I assume this is the lady from the same church who also had a baby by Brother John.

Is John a trophy? 

This is not a new topic. It’s one that we all most probably have with our friends over drinks frequently. The nature in which as women, we pride ourselves in “Winning” other human beings like we are in FIFA 2018 tournament. Snapping our fingers while saying “Stina ke bozza” with pride has become such a norm for us. Why do we do that?

I think it is another reason why our male counterparts perpetuate the notion of competition amongst ourselves in order to win them over. I am a bit disturbed at all of it really. If anything, no one can really be taken from anyone. The person has chosen to move on to what they see as a greener pastures. As depressing and sad as it is, and as much we would like to take all the credit, ladies, chances are there was something possibly wrong in the previous relationship the other person was in ANYWAY. Or ke maka?

It is for the same reason I am of the opinion that a man leaving his partner for someone else is not necessarily a bad reflection of the women he chose to move on with. Sadly, this is the person who always gets attacked, as if it never took two to tango. Anyway…

I don’t know Chicas, I am keen to hear what your thoughts are. Care to share? Let’s chat! Le re Stina ke bozza?


How would it end?

Well, well, well. It seemed our pleas that we have seen enough of Mary Jane’s ups and downs and we just want a happy ending were heard.

BET has just announced that the Season 4 was the last and the Series will end with a 2 hour Movie Special in 2018. We don’t actually know if there will be a happy ending but it sounds like they will bring back some of the old characters to answer questions. Imagine David coming back and MJ Having to choose between him and Justin? lol my mind is already on overdrive about what could possibly happen.


Here’s what the star of the show said:

To Every Fan of Being Mary Jane, We have all worked so tirelessly to bring you a show that we could be proud to be a part of. Mary Jane has become my favorite character. We’ve screwed up together, laughed together, evolved together, and raised hell together. I love all her imperfections, and through playing her I became more forgiving of others who are imperfect and on the journey of self discovery and improvement. We watched her struggle with relationships with both men and women, and we watched her finally start to get her shit together.

But the journey isn’t over yet. We, as a Being Mary Jane family, cannot wait to bring you this final 2 hour series finale movie that will answer all your questions about each and every character. More than anything, however, we want to thank you with every fiber of our being for faithfully watching the show and supporting our work… from the actors, writers, producers, directors and enormous crew over the years, we are humbled and we remain grateful. Thank you! – Gabrielle Union, October 2017

So knowing that it’s coming to an end, and that there should be drama: If you were asked to write the finale script for Being Mary Jane, What would happen in the movie and how would it end? 

Now, don’t think about what you want, think about what would be entertaining for viewers.

Go Wild!


Being Mary Jane

Man, Mary Jane! What haven’t we experienced with and through her?! We sure have come a long way and every bit of pain, humiliation, joy, disappointment she felt through the years, we felt with her. But I’m tired now. 

It’s been a long road till Season 4. Do you remember when we were Team Andre or Team David?

Being Mary Jane

Before there was Ghost, there was Andre and boy was he something!!! My heart though, was with David and I SO wanted him and Mary Jane to work out. I feel like he’s the one that got away.

Being Mary Jane

Not the one that got hosed away hehehe like Andre.

I’m really tired just thinking of MJ’s history… Do you remember Sheldon?

Being mary Jane

That damn selfish Sheldon? We all liked him at first coz he came wrapped in sheep skin but then he dropped the “Given your history with men, you know I’ll be the best offer you’ll get.” line at MJ. The cheek!

Being Mary Jane

After making a fuss about her getting too comfortable in his house, asking how she got his house’s security code lol (but MJ though), and then talking about how he doesn’t believe in cohabiting bathong, I’m getting upset just remembering this guy.

Oh my word, and then there was Lisa and that confession to David that MJ overhead causing her to crash her car.

Being Mary Jane

My word, and that lead to this – how can we forget the quickest recovery on earth! The one that was so bad it left her with zero scars on her face?? Miracles I tell you.

And Lisa committing suicide , David having a baby with someone else…

Being Mary Jane

David really hurt me… Every season I waited for him to come back but clearly he moved on.

I will never forget this scene at the end of season 2, after discovering MJ had stolen his sperm coz she so desperately wanted a baby:


A post shared by LeloB (@mslelob) on

We also had Cutty Buddy at some point during the show, I just couldn’t understand why MJ picked that GandaGanda of a guy , he scared me.

Being Mary Jane

Then MJ experimented with white men and stopped at the part where she told dude she actually likes Black Men… I remember cringing at that scene. There have been many moments in the show where I felt MJ was extra and unnecessarily rude but hey, I still love her. Frustration manifests in many ways, I guess.

Season 3 was probably one of the best for those who are into shows that highlight social issues but for me it was the worst – thanks to this lady’s character:

Being mary Jane

There are shows one watches for Comrade/Amandla vibes and BMJ wasn’t that show for me so I really got frustrated at this lady’s scenes and her woke monologues. I wanted to watch MJ and her relationship issues. At some point even her family drama was featuring more than her life, the whole season 3 felt disjointed for me.

Season 4 though, really more than made up for a lot of things! I got to see the real MJ again. We got introduced to Lee… he was so not MJ’s type but he provided her the stability and attention she needed at that time. Even though I was happy with this for about two minutes, I quickly got bored with this relationship and episode after episode I kept waiting for them to break up.

Being Mary Jane

I felt like MJ was settling and really disliked that. I know it’s weird, that in all these seasons and episodes we wanted her to find love but when she eventually found it, I didn’t want it because it wasn’t packaged in the David/Andre/Sheldon type of package I thought suited her. Lee really made the show boring, let’s be honest, or maybe I just wasn’t ready to watch her become his wife.

And then entered King Justin in our lives! *hearts* 

Yhuuu Thixo! Lawd we thank you for your creations… Amen!

Justin Being Mary Jane

Oh how we hated him when he first got on to the show. I know a lot of people still did not trust him when he started dating MJ but I remained hopeful because he simply ticked all my boxes. With all the drama and everything that happened between them, it ended here… right here with this beautiful, special moment:

Granted, it’s a beautiful moment that could be ruined by the fact that MJ had just returned from the Dr where she was getting implanted with two embryos.. sigh. Meaning she could be pregnant with a sperm donor’s baby, which could in turn ruin things with Justin. This is exactly why I don’t want the show to continue past this point! Is anyone with me??

We have seen enough disappointments, enough suffering, enough heartbreaks, I just want MJ to be happy now. Sure life doesn’t always work out that way but it’s TV after all, we need a happy ending and I know for a fact there is no way a new season will give us Justin and MJ living happily ever after. Not with Justin accepting this child, (if MJ falls pregnant) there will have to be drama and I don’t know about you folks but I am tired of MJ drama. More of this, it will now turn into a soapie and I’m worried about all these beautiful Season 4 moments with Justin getting ruined, wiped out or forgotten hle!

I know it’s taken me a while to get to my point but I feel like this ending would be the perfect cliff hanger to end the show. We would be left wondering if MJ accepts Justin’s marriage proposal, whether she falls pregnant, how he reacts to the pregnancy… and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to leave us hanging. What more can MJ do in Season 5,6,7,8.9 that she hasn’t done already? I hope the season 4 finale is the last we’ve seen of Being Mary Jane.


I’d really miss Kara though. What a selfless human! She and Orlando made the cutest, sweetest couple! Let’s also leave that relationship at this happy point please.

I think I’ve said a mouthful, though I haven’t even touched on MJ’s family drama. A lot has happened and I think the show’s also had a good run, let’s take a bow now.

Would love to hear your thoughts as well please? What are your thoughts on BMJ? You want more? Why?

By @MsLeloB

As you may have noticed, we love Anele around here. It has been beautiful watching her journey on radio co-hosting with Grant and eventually making her way to the coveted spot on the 947 Breakfast. Her TV journey has also seen her host Top Billing, Clash of the Choirs and Our Perfect Wedding, but our favourite to date has to be Real Talk. Here are our top five reasons why we love it so much.

She meets her guests at their level…

The guests profiled on the show are mostly from the entertainment industry, but often from such polar opposite areas of it. Whether Anele is interviewing Queen of Gospel Rebecca Malope or new kid on the block Nasty C, she is able to speak their language, which in turn makes them comfortable enough to speak to her.

She does her research…

Many times, when you watch the show you will notice how guests are surprised at the details that Anele knows about them. You also find that her questions are prefaced with a backstory. While many may argue that it is all thanks to her team, you can’t argue that it also takes some reading of her own to have the kind of knowledge that she does on her guests. In the latest issue of True Love she speaks about how she gets to the studio to start preparing for the show around 1pm when the show only plays at 5pm. She also recently interviewed Nigerian media personality Toke Makinwa and you could tell that she had read the book on which the interview was based.

She’s true to who she is…

Oprah always says that one of the great lessons she learnt earlier on in her career is that she is a much better Oprah than she is a pretend Barbara Walters. It feels almost as though Anele follows this advice on Real Talk. She laughs as loudly on the show as she does when you share a joke with her at Xhosa Nostra and shares personal anecdotes that relate to the stories and questions that she asks her guests. Her personality really shines through and turns the interview into a conversation rather than a Q&A session.

She helps us see people we have known about for years in a new light…

The way in which Anele conducts her interviews leaves the guests feeling so comfortable with her that they share stories that they otherwise would not have shared. Celebrities like Moshidi Motshegwa who shy away from interviews have come to trust Anele with their stories which allows for us to learn more about them. Just the other day she had Khanyi Dhlomo on the show who shared that she actually started off as a skivvy at True Love before she would go on to be the editor of in less than 2 years – a part of her journey which isn’t always highlighted.

The show’s ratings have been on the rise over the last year that it has been on air and we are excited to see it grow from strength to strength. Hopefully soon, she will have a studio audience and I pray that I am in it when everyone gets a car.

Real Talk is in its third season and is broadcast live from Steyn City on SABC 3 on Weekdays at 5pm.

What are some of your favourite moments from Real Talk with Anele?

by Richmond Sajini

Khanyi Dhlomo

I know this is a bit of a delayed reaction but I just watched Anele’s interview with Khanyi Dhlomo and I can’t get over what a force Khanyi is. She is everything we thought she was, and more.

I’d like to share 7 things she said that had me nodding and going wow…

In following your dream, she says: 

“You don’t have to know the how, you need to know the what and the universe will move everything else around you to create the how. This is because your how also impacts somebody else.”

This is so important to me because so often we give up on our dreams because we worry about the “how”. In fact what she’s saying is that know what you want, take that first step, START, and the rest of the journey will get defined. 

Khanyi Dhlomo

Khanyi also talks a lot about making a positive impact in people’s lives.

“We’ve really got to say (to God) “Use me, I’m ready, this is what I want to do and on this journey from where I am to where I want to be, I want to take and impact as many people as I can.” I think those are the most beautiful dreams and the most sustainable.”

On working as a fashion assistant before being promoted to Editor:

“That moment of deciding to swallow my pride and be the skivvy for a while actually put me in the right place, at the right time and allowed me to be there and then make that history to be the youngest editor of a magazine at 22. The learning there for me was that sometimes your dreams don’t come packaged in the way that you expect. God doesn’t give them to you packaged in the way that you expect because there are lessons that you need to learn and character developments that you need to go through before you can get the goal that you want.

On growth and evolution, Khanyi says: 

“The most important thing we need to realize is that everything is about the growth and evolution of the soul. Everything else around us that we see, our relationships, our jobs, everything that happens is really just an instrument for the soul to grow and the question we always need to ask ourselves is, Am I growing? Am I becoming better? And even if you make a mistake, the thing to ask yourself thereafter is what can I learn, and what can I do differently to make sure that I get back on this track of growth, which is the purpose of our existence. ”

“Nothing in life is a mistake, nothing in life is a waste, everything is meant to be, even the bad. Even in the bad, there is always something good that comes out of it, there’s always a lesson, there’s always preparation for the next level, every time. Our lives are about the next level and you can’t go to the next level unless there’s a level before and a level below. It’s all about growth, everything grows, the hustle is about growth and moving forward in life.

Khanyi Dhlomo

Her message for entrepreneurs and people in the corporate world: 

“Understand why you are doing what you are doing. Understand what problem you are solving. Address a particular need because that will ensure sure you stay in business and that will ensure you positively impact lives that you make a positive difference with your work. My professor at Harvard Business  School used to say “Solve a particular need, cure a pain, address a particular pain. What pain is the customer in and how can you heal that pain with your business.” And yes, that must be your passion, so make sure that it’s something you are passionate about and something you enjoy, but that must be something that addresses a particular need.”

Life is very much about balance. I always say that we should look to nature to be inspired. Then sun shines everywhere but not at the same time. Wherever it is, it’s there fully, a 100% because when you dedicate yourself a 100% to that one place, that full attention sustains that place while you focus on something else.”

You can watch the interview on Youtube below:


By LeloB

A United Kingdom

A United Kingdom

” We were taught, sometimes in a very positive way, to despise ourselves and our ways of life. We were made to believe that we had no past to speak of, no history to boast of. The past, so far as we were concerned, was just a blank and nothing more. Only the present mattered and we had very little control over it. It seemed we were in for a definite period of foreign tutelage, without any hope of our ever again becoming our own masters. The end result of all this was that our self-pride and our self-confidence were badly undermined.

It should now be our intention to try to retrieve what we can of our past. We should write our own history books to prove that we did have a past, and that it was a past that was just as worth writing and learning about as any other. We must do this for the simple reason that a nation without a past is a lost nation, and a people without a past is a people without a soul.” 

Sir Seretse Khama, 15 May 1970


Sir Seretse Khama, or President Seretse Khama was the first President of Botswana and A United Kingdom tells how he defied tradition by marrying a white British woman when his uncle & village were waiting for him to become King and choose a Motswana woman.

a united kingdom

I loved A United Kingdom because it was refreshing to watch a movie about an African leader who is not Nelson Mandela. Filmmakers have been so obsessed with uTata, you’d swear he was the only one of our leaders with a story worth telling. I hope the making of this film means that there will be more African stories that will be told, because I am certain there are more. So a big thank you to Amma Asante for telling this story.

The film stars David Oyelewo as Sir Seretse Khama and Rosamund Pike as his wife Ruth Williams and I enjoyed them in these roles. David really made me fall in love with ntate Seretse and got me wanting to know more about the man. (You can read about him HERE).

Terry Pheto and Vusi Kunene are also in the film and Terry’s role as Seretse’s sister earned her a Best Supporting Actress award at the British Independent Film Awards.

A United Kingdom

The only “review” I have is that I loved this and think you should watch it.

It is currently on Dstv Box Office until 31 May so if you have access, watch it otherwise, go rent it. Wait… do movie renting places still exist? heheh

Check out the Movie Trailer below:

Not everyone loved the movie though, here’s someone who had a problem with some of the facts in the movie. I think he should calm down *insert eye roll emoji* Read his rant HERE, but do that after watching, if you don’t want spoilers.

None of what he complains about takes away from the fact that A United Kingdom is a beautiful love story.

And I’m a sucker for love.

P.S. The current president of Botswana, Ian Khama is Sir Seretse & Ruth’s eldest son.

By LeloB



I don’t always get to watch a lot of TV, unless it’s the weekend or I am on leave. If there is one thing DStv has gotten right, it has to be the local content on its platform. They have been the pioneers in grooming local talent both off and on screen. I truly applaud them for this as it has entertained us so much and made it so enjoyable to watch content that is relatable to the average South African.

One drama series that has got me shook a bit is Lockdown. There seems to be mixed feelings about this series from the masses. I am curious to see what the viewer numbers look like. A birdie has told me that the show has fast become an SA with thousands of impressions online requesting it be included on all DStv bouquet Catch-Up options.

For those who have not watched yet: “The motley crew of Lockdown’s female inmates is led by the tough Ma Z , a leader who wants nothing more than to gain her freedom so that she can become a good and present mother to the daughter she left on the outside. Cunning and not beyond using manipulation, she co-ops those she can – be the other inmates or wardens – to meet her end goal. One of those people happens to be the beautiful and talented Monde, a young woman who left the cocoon of her small town life to pursue fame and fortune in the dazzling lights of Egoliwood. Instead, what she got was infamy, thanks to her wily money-hungry boyfriend/producer Zakes, who introduced her to a notorious lifestyle that landed her in jail.” (DStv)


The cast –  issa ghel power!

Before I even got to watch the first episode, I fell in love with the idea of watching something that has a female-dominated cast. That on its own got me the biggest smile ever. The next thing that got me easily interested were both the familiar and unfamiliar faces we would see in the season. Great to see our legends and young talent, working together to give us a great show. I won’t lie, I do get tired of seeing the same faces on different channels but this is not an article on “open up the industry”.

It’s great to see Lorcia Cooper back on our screens doing what she does best. She is someone most of us got to meet during the “Backstage” days. The days with the hideous Duke – gosh – hahahaha. She plays the annoying and tough Tyson well. Can’t wait to see what else she has in store for us.

Slindile Nodangala, who plays the boss lady, Prison Govenor is another fav! She did not let being fired from Generations get her down that’s for sure. The role suites her and she is believable. I would visit a prison any day if she was the governor. LOL She looks like she serves fire mgosi.


I am for the first time, learning of Zola Nombona, who plays the superstar that is dating a weirdo of a guy who is a producer and big junkie. Personally, I don’t think he plays the role well. But that is just me. Back to the ladies. I am taking time warming up to Monde’s character but her talent looks promising. I am definitely going to enjoy watching her.

*drum roll please* I have found a new on-screen love. Who is Dawn Thandeka King (plays Mazet)? Where has she been all my life? How do I get a hold of her? My goodness what talent. This is the first character I fell in love with and still am in love with. I am not an expert on TV production but what I do know is that Dawn was one of the best choices for this show. I would love to see more of her on our screens. I think I will also start being a regular on “Uzalo” just to get my dose of Thandeka. In case you were wondering, her Twitter handle is @DawnTKing.

Have you watched the show? What do you think? Who is your fav so far?

By Keagi