First of all I want to put a disclaimer that I am not judging anyone. I am just a confused soul who needs enlightening so please bear with me and read with an open mind.
I have been so confused with some of the reasons why people adopt children or do insemination. The idea of insemination compelled me to write this. I have so many questions and thoughts about the whole discussion but, again, those are just my opinions.
Some things in life you don’t believe they exist until they happen close to home. Ever since I came to the United States I am exposed to so many things that make the African in me cringe. For example, I live with a lady who has a 3 year old daughter who is mixed race. I never really cared to ask where the father is and I just assumed that I would meet him one day, maybe when he comes to pick her up for the weekend or whatever. That day, however, never came. I lived with them for 5 months. At some point, I would find a pregnancy test in the house, even though I never saw a man visit. Like ever. Neither did the woman and her child ever go away for a weekend, where I would have assumed they are meeting with the father or a boyfriend. She was always home.
I began to get curious about the whereabouts of the kid’s father, but I was still not sure how to ask this woman who is in her mid 40s. I was her housemate but she treated me like her older child. One day, out of the blue, she asked me when my cycle (menstruation) was and if I could give her my eggs 😳 . That whole thing was bizarre for me, “Give you my eggs?”
I’m a very weird person, if I feel like what you say makes no sense,then I don’t even want to put it in thoughts I just look at you and go “Hehe” and basically that’s what I did. I was confused and thought she was crazy. Gosh, how can you ask such a thing?
Well, to cut a long story short, I later discovered that her kid was not born through a normal pregnancy but through artificial insemination. Now my main question was first of all, whether she deliberately chose a white man’s sperm or was that the last sperm they had? And secondly, I feel like getting a child that way is selfish, mainly because you deliberately deprive the child an opportunity to have a father, and have a normal father experience.
I never had a Dad growing up, my grandpa was my father, but the feeling of wishing I had a father came once in a while. I mean it’s different from adopting because there you save the child I believe. Insemination, on the other hand, is something you do for you, yourself to close a gap or for loneliness reasons but at the end of the day you do it for you. That’s selfish to me, I think.
Do you think single ladies who do insemination are selfish? What do you tell the child, “Your father is dead?”
My housemate’s daughter told me that her dad is dead because her Mom told her that.
I would be so mad if I was a product of artificial insemination.
Please help me look at this in a different way.