Growing up, my mom was very strict about me visiting friends for sleepovers. I would get so upset if ever she said no. I never understood why someone would deprive her child of happiness; greatness at its best. Along with the “o ska jela metseng yabatho” rule, my life seemed like it made no sense.
The older I get the more I realise that mama knows best. At that time, I didn’t get it but now I do. I personally enjoy being in the comfort of my own space. Home. Where I can put my feet up on the couch and snap my life away and eating as much as I want to without feeling guilty. Most times, it actually bothers me when I hear a knock on the door. I don’t think this necessarily makes me anti social, because I am not. I really just appreciate the space.
Recently, I came across a conversation about overstaying your welcome. Look, a night out with your friends may lead to a sleep over, or a date to a pro-longed night cap or coffee session and sometimes, your cousin from hundreds of kilometres away may come for a visit. It happens. But when do we know that we have exhausted our visiting rights? I don’t like visitors much when home, so I always assume the next person may possibly feel the same and in the same regard, try and move on as swiftly as possible.
Ladies, when in a relationship, I think we just love spending time with the bae. Who wouldn’t? Movie, popcorn, drinks and warm arms. However, when do we draw the line, pack our bags and head home?
Hanging out with the bae – From the guys
Modise (@Mosensei), part of the popular circle on social media shared his views on visits from the bae and this is what he had to say:
How often do you expect your GF to visit you?
I’m a working man so once or twice a week is good enough for me. I’m not a fan of spending too much time together. I’d like some time to do the things I like to do away from you as well. Also, it gives me a chance to miss you properly. I’m not like women, who most times like to spend as much time as possible with their partner.
How long do you think women should visit their BF’s for, when staying over?
I think it depends on the relationship and how often they get to see each other. As I said I work so I got only the weekend to live so for me one night and day is enough. I’d like you to leave the following day. Most times we don’t say anything because we don’t want to hurt feelings but I’m pretty sure most guys reach the “I wish she’d leave” long before she actually leaves
What is the one annoying thing that you feel women do when at their partner’s place and think they should stop?
I can’t think of anything big that annoys me. I just like a woman that cares about the general wellbeing of my place. In terms of neatness. I love a woman that takes care of me
Hanging out with the bae – From the ladies
Of course, in all fairness, I had to get a view from the ladies too. This is what some had to say:
Thandi (@Mynaamis_tandie): The only guy who’s allowed to stay long at my place is a guy who has contributed to groceries or house items. And I hate it when a guy comes over and leaves his things here ekare ke ha mmae.
Phumi (@Njullz): Being in a long distance relationship, I don’t get to see my boyfriend often, it’s never more than a week. In actual fact if it were a case of having him around in general, a week would be enough.
Lesedi (@LesediMets): Can’t stay for more than 2 days, if you’re the last to wake up, make up the bed and if I cook, wash the dishes though.
How to spot that you are overstaying your welcome
- Your toiletries are taking up more counter space in the bathroom than theirs; you may also have personal items stored in the medicine cabinet.
- When it’s time to clean the house, they leave your messy corner of the room just the way it is, passive-aggressively calling attention to the chaos you’ve brought into their home.
- You’ve basically consumed everything edible/drinkable in the house.
For relationships, the best thing to do is to communicate expectations of one another. For now, I will do my best to listen to mama’s lessons on staying in my own lane. It seems to work wonders and hey, no one is bothered either.
What’s your take?