Being the late bloomer that I am, I only recently got into the first season of Being Mary Jane while the rest of the world is already on season 3. While binge watching the entire first and second seasons one Saturday, I found myself hooked, not because the show is entertaining (it is), but because I found so many parallels in Mary Jane’s life that I, and a number of people in my life, could easily relate to.

1. She sleeps with her hair wrapped

Now I love my girl Olivia Pope but unlike her, I don’t have silk pillows quite yet so I do what we people with long hair (be it natural, relaxed or extensions) have done for decades – I sleep with a doek! In one episode I saw Mary Jane’s hair in what the Americans call a “doobie wrap” (Rihanna once went onto the red carpet with this “hairstyle”) and found myself thinking “oh my God that’s so me!” – a phrase that I have come to say many times while watching this series.

2. Being beautiful doesn't guarantee that you'll find the kind of love you want

Every now and then people ask me “why are you single?” when they learn of my relationship status and the question is usually followed by “you’re so good looking” or they will say things like “you’re too good looking to be single.” I imagine that this is what Mary Jane’s predicament is. That she is beautiful and successful yet despite that, she has trouble finding the kind of love that she wants. Raise your hand if you’ve been here before. *raises hand*

3. It's up to you to motivate yourself

As you progress into the series, you will realise that each episode starts with a quote and that Mary Jane has a number of sticky notes on which she writes words of wisdom which she then pastes on mirrors and on her glass wall. While I don’t go to such extremes, I do have a notebook in which I write quotes (I’ve been a collector since high school) and you will often find an inspirational quote or bible verse on my social media pages. These really help keep my morale up when there is no one around to give me an encouraging word.

4. Success only feels good if you're passionate about what you're doing

Mary Jane’s professional struggle is that she rarely gets to do stories that she is passionate about. When she left CNN to join SNC, she got a prime time slot which came with a great package. However she has always wanted to do meaningful stories that speak to people of colour with special focus on black women. The network does not fully support this which leads to Mary Jane feeling like she is losing her voice.

I have been in a similar situation where I had the opportunity to do what I love, but eventually became despondent as I was not really allowed to completely be myself and pour my entire passion into it. While it is great to do something that you are successful in, nothing compares to being able to do and excel in something that you are passionate about.

5. Your family's mess is not your responsibility

Mary Jane’s siblings and niece have a number of personal problems that weigh heavily on her parents as they often wonder if there could have been something that they could have done differently in raising their kids. Mary Jane’s success sometimes also leaves her feeling as though she should do more for them. She eventually learns that she has to stand up for herself and defend herself from those feelings of guilt because they have all had the same opportunities as her.

I have 8 siblings from my father’s side and the moderate success that I have managed to achieve so far sometimes leaves me feeling guilty when I see some of my siblings struggle through navigating their lives. However I constantly have to remind myself that we have all had the same opportunities and like Mary Jane, I often struggle to communicate that in a way that does not come across as though I am judging them for their choices. I am learning that I could be more supportive and lend an ear without having to make a financial contribution.

What are some of your favourite lessons and parallels that you can draw from a character in your favourite TV series?

by Richmond Sajini